Republican Corner

For some time now, we Republicans have stood by and watched Bapudi try subtly to influence our young people. Under the Guise of "fun" they show disrespect for our most fundamental values. It's about time that someone stood up for what is absolutely right - George Bush style.

[Pause while I sip my scotch on the rocks.]

Some might feel that these losers portrayed in this site are harmless. Sad and lame, but harmless. However, if one looks closely, it is not too hard to see that the materials on Bapudi are the stuff of communist philosophy. There is clear evidence that this site supports sodomites, potheads, those who take God's name in vain, and - it cannot be denied - gay marriage.

This week I would like to review the Bapudi film, "Tim Goes To Quiznos". At first glance this may look like a harmless little movie with low entertainment value. (Admittedly, the guitar is pretty awesome). However, when carefully scrutinized by anyone who has trained his mind to accept the literal truth of the Bible, it becomes apparent that its authors are a bunch of hippies.

The film begins with a young man. He awakes at a very late hour, apparently without any concern for a JOB, which he should get. Note he does not bother to take a shower, shave, or in any way pay attention to his personal hygene. This "Tim" person looks gaunt and wasted. He is obviously the victim of systematic drug abuse. It is quite clear that this boy's father could never have been a staunch republican.

[Another sip of scotch. Not now Honey, dammit, I'm working! The little brat is going to have to learn to put herself to bed!]

Tim pulls on a shirt and goes to an easy quick restaurant. While receiving services at this sort of production oriented capitalist institution is admirable on its face, it is clear that this boy's motive is not patriotism. Rather he proceeds only to satiate his basic desires in the most slothful way possible, without regard for God or Country. God bless America!

Tim it seems is just another example of youth gone wrong. At no time does this lad exhibit any interest in a national sales tax, a proper recalcitrance for so-called "aid" to those who refuse to work in Africa, or any sense of that moral absolutism that has made this great country a staunch opponent of world consensus. Has Tim ever received or given oral sex? The film does not say. However, from the look of him, it has happened.

It is by no means unlikely that his education forcibly taught him to exclude any theory of human existence other than "evolution". He has obviously not been taught the virtues of the separation of races. This young man in no way exhibits concern for the countless millions who have to pay up to 20% in capital gains taxes for net incomes exceeding seven figures. Where, I ask, is his concern for his fellow man? Where is his humanity?

It is only by promoting (mandatory) Christianity at all government buildings that we can bring insidious sites like Bapudi to a halt.